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You CAN Stop Yelling. Here’s your 10 step plan.


1. Commit to your child that you’ll use a respectful voice. (Who else will keep you accountable?) Tell your kids that you’re learning, so you’ll make mistakes…but that you’ll get better and better at it.

2. Realize that your #1 job as a parent is to manage your own emotions, so you’re modeling emotional regulation and can help your child learn to manage his emotions. Kids learn empathy when we empathize with them. They learn to scream at us when we raise our voice at them.

3. Remember that kids will act like kids – that’s their job! They’re immature humans, learning the ropes. They push on limits to see what’s solid. They experiment with power so they can learn to use it responsibly. Their frontal cortex won’t be fully developed until age 25, so their emotions often take over, which means they can’t think straight when they’re upset. And, like other humans, they don’t like feeling controlled.

4. Stop gathering “kindling” — those resentments you start to pile up when you’re having a bad day. Once you have enough kindling, a firestorm is inevitable. Instead, stop, take responsibility for your own mood, give yourself what you need to feel better, and shift yourself to a happier place.

5. Offer empathy when your child expresses emotion — any emotion — so she’ll start to accept her own feelings, which is the first step in learning to manage them. Once children can manage their emotions, they can manage their behavior. Feeling understood also keeps kids from going off the deep end with their upsets so often.

6. Stay connected and see things from your child’s perspective, even while you’re setting limits. When kids believe we’re on their side, they WANT to “behave,” so they’re more accepting of our limits, and they don’t push our buttons as often.

7. When you get angry, STOP. Shut your mouth. Don’t take any action or make any decisions. BREATHE deeply. If you’re already yelling, stop in mid-sentence. Don’t continue until you’re calm.

8. Take a parent time-out. Remove yourself from the situation if possible. If you can’t leave, run some water and splash it on your face to shift your attention from your child to your inner state. Under that anger is fear, and sadness, and disappointment. Let all that well up, and just breathe. Let the tears come if you need to. Once you let yourself feel what’s under the anger—without taking action—the anger just melts away.

9. Find your own wisdom. From this calmer place, imagine there’s an angel on your shoulder who sees things objectively and wants what’s best for everyone in the situation. This is your own personal parenting coach. What does she say? Can she give you a mantra to see things differently, like “I don’t have to “win” here…I can let him save face.” What would she suggest to get things on a better path? What can you do right now? (Don’t skip this step. Research shows it works!)

10. Take positive action from this calmer place. That might mean you ask your child for a do-over. It might mean you apologize. It might mean you help your cranky child with her feelings, so she can have a good cry and you can all have a better day. It might mean you blow off the housework and just snuggle under the covers with your kids and a pile of books until everyone feels better. Just take one step toward helping everyone feel, and do, better — including you.

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There are two kinds of teachers: the kind that fill you with so much quail shot that you can’t move, and the kind that just gives you a little prod behind and you jump to the skies.

— Robert Frost (via psych-quotes)

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In Britain, students don’t begin paying off their loans until they find stable employment, and the cost is in proportion to their earnings. Australia similarly ties the cost of paying off the loan to the income of the graduate. In Denmark, education is considered a right by the people and an investment by the government, and is therefore free. Some students are even offered a stipend by the government to defray costs. Norway has a similar system of higher education, and in Sweden, students pay only a small fee.

In America? The university is considered a commodity, one that can easily be purchased by the wealthy, but not the poor. These approaches represent a fundamentally different cultural attitude: elsewhere, education is a public good, an investment or a right; in the U.S., it’s a privilege reserved for wealthy elites …

— Does America hate millennials? - Sean McElwee | Salon (via meggannn)

(Source: smdxn)

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Creative Compulsive Disorder

If you have five minutes please watch this gorgeous young woman…I fell in love with her in this video, the way she moves, creates, loves and speaks…She makes you want to animate everything…I was in awe when the dates 1990-2013 flashed at the end…This video was recent, she died November 30th at 23. Sometimes ones legacy doesnt start until their death.


Zina Nicole Lahr

You beautiful beautiful soul

We need more people like this in the world. Not kids who know how to take a standardized test. We need creativity, the drive to make things, imagination, the ability to solve a problem. She’s a beautiful soul and I hope more kids have this creative compulsive disorder. They could save the world.

(Source: beautifuldisaster1121)

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When students showed up to class last week at North Harringay primary school in Greater London, England they received a truly awesome surprise. A small red UFO had crashed into the tarmac of their playground.

A forensic officer was spotted inspecting the UFO while police closely guarded the scene, which was roped off while investigations took place.

The whole event was just the inspiration pupils needed for a creative writing day at the school, and was orchestrated by Emma Hassan, its literacy leader, with the help of one very creative parent and a local PC [police constable].

She said: “A very talented parent built the space craft in a limited amount of time and kindly dressed as a forensic detective to help with the staging of the crash. PC Glyn Kelly also agreed to attend the scene to add to the mystery of the crash.”

This marvelous stunt was undertaken simply to fire up the kids’ imaginations and get them writing. It looks like we’ve just discovered a brand new department at Geyser of Awesome headquarters: the Department of Awesome Educators.

[via Neatorama]

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We often hear about U.S. teachers being paid poorly for all the work they do to educate children. But did you know that 63 percent of teachers report buying food for the classroom each month with their own money?


More Than Half Of Teachers Report Buying Hungry Students Food With Their Own Money

I know at my mom’s school, teachers worked with parents to make sure children had food, clothes, school supplies, medical care. Kids who didn’t have running water in their homes (no, I’m not kidding) were given access to the showers in the gym and teachers would do their laundry. Teachers drove families who didn’t have cars to their doctor and dentist appointments, allowed kids in extracurriculars who needed to be at school early to go to band contests or football and baseball games to stay at their house overnight so they could drive the kids in early the next day. At Christmas, teachers pooled resources to help parents get together Christmas presents and dinners, so kids could have Christmas meals. My mom, an elementary school principal, drove her former students in high school to distant colleges so they could see campuses they couldn’t visit otherwise and helped them with college and financial aid applications. My parents gave families, free of charge, a car, a washer and dryer, musical instruments my brother and I no longer used, and they weren’t the only teachers or other parents in the community who did the same for kids and families in need.

I know there are bad teachers, but my experience being raised by an educator and being surrounded by teachers was that teachers love their students and want what is best for their students. They will do whatever they can for kids and their families if they think it will help the kids succeed. The teachers in my life were overwhelmingly examples of dogged, selfless dedication. I know so many teachers now who have worked well past when they could retire because they still love teaching, because they love the kids, because they want to make the world a better place.

Teachers are amazing people, and instead of discrediting them, blaming them for all the problems with our education system, and replacing them with less expensive and less qualified people who will be in and out of the profession in a couple of years, we should be doing our best to seek out and support the people who have this kind of passion and commitment to the hard work of educating children. 

What this should also tell us is just how many kids are going hungry right now, and how vitally important it is that we continue to invest in children. SNAP benefits, Medicaid, subsidized housing…all of these things are vitally important to school success. A child can’t do well in school if they are hungry, sick, and homeless or worried about becoming homeless, and you’d be hard pressed to find teachers who have never encountered students who have dealt with one or all of these challenges, except maybe in the wealthiest school districts. Taking care of kids should be one of our biggest priorities, and sadly, it’s turned into some sort of political game to see who can be the most committed to poverty shaming and anti-government, no matter who is hurt in the process. It’s sickening.

Education is important. Children are everything. We need to invest more into both. Now I’ll get off my soap box.

(via colormotions)

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(via For Kids With Special Needs, More Places To Play)
NPR has also created a community-edited guide to accessible playgrounds. Check it out, add some more!


(via For Kids With Special Needs, More Places To Play)

NPR has also created a community-edited guide to accessible playgrounds. Check it out, add some more!

Reblogged from npr

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Educational Tweets


Dorothy Wang, 18.
A freshman at Salisbury University. Currently pursuing a degree in English as a Second Language Education.

This is my journey to establish my own personal philosophy of education. Hence, creating what in my mind is the perfect "Dream School". Even so, I hope to be able to keep an open mind and these are only my forming opinions. I'm open to your thoughts and ideas, so feel free to share!

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